


round and round and round in the circle game

by MadameHardy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Multi, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Post-Sburb/Sgrub, its hard and nobody understands, quadrants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 16:53:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13861911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadameHardy/pseuds/MadameHardy
Summary: Was it fair to Terezi if he cheated on her with Roxy? And was it fair to Roxy if he cheated on her with Terezi? Terezi would probably say it wasn't cheating, it was quadrants. But did Roxy do quadrants? And did he want to do quadrants?Post-SBURB.  It's hard, it's hard, and nobody understands, least of all John Egbert.





	round and round and round in the circle game

**Author's Note:**

  * For [1nsomnizac.tumblr.com](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=1nsomnizac.tumblr.com).



> Thank you to OtherCat for lifesaving handholding and insightful beta. Couldn't have done it without you, friend.

John liked Roxy. Like-liked. Roxy was funny, and Roxy was nice, and her smile was great, and her wink was sexy, and she was tall and slim and moved like fireworks. And she smelled good. 

Oh, shit, he was talking like Terezi again. Or thinking like Terezi again. But she did smell good. Not Terezi, although Terezi did smell like sharpened steel, which was kind of good, but. But Roxy. Roxy was funny, and Roxy was awesome, and Roxy was the only other person who remembered life before he'd done the Thing. 

But there was Terezi. And fighting with Terezi, and making fun of Terezi, and sometimes kissing Terezi, working around the pointed teeth, which was tricky, but worth it. Really worth it. And was it fair to Terezi if he cheated on her with Roxy? And was it fair to Roxy if he cheated on her with Terezi? Terezi would probably say it wasn't cheating, it was quadrants. But did Roxy do quadrants? And did he want to do quadrants? It was hard being a human dealing with trolls. It was hard. And nobody under --

Wait. There was at least one other human who definitely understood.

***  
"Uh, Dave? Can I talk to you? About some thing important? Private?"

Dave looked up from Karkat's tablet. "Bros, man. Bros for life. Hear ever, tell never."

"It's about Roxy --"

An eyebrow lifted above the shades. "Yeah? My hot mom? 'Sup?"

"Gross, Dave."

Dave smirked. "Nothing but finest-quality gross here. Gross delivered by the gross from the grossest store in Grosse Pointe. Point of pride."

"Your *hair* is gross."

Dave reached out and gave John a noogie. "Yours is grosser." There was a brief interlude of dude-wrestling. After they both collapsed onto the ground, John, panting, leaned up on his elbows. "Dave, I have a really important question and I need you to be serious."

"Serious as the tomb, although for all I know tombs are comedy gold, rocking the tombstones off their kicks, mausoleum colusseum seven nights a week tip your waitress--"

"Dave."

"John. You talk, I listen."  
"Do you think it's weird to date Terezi, I mean hate-date Terezi, if I kind of want to date Roxy, too?"

Dave's face was stone still, which meant he was thinking. After a long pause, he said, "Okay, first things first. 'Weird' is what you make it. Our even sitting here alive is fucking weird as hell. After what we've been through, we wouldn't know "weird" if it slammed us up the ass with a unicorn. So. Do you want to date two girls at once? Or one girl-girl and one troll girl?"

"I ... I think so? If they don't mind?"

"Judging by the pointy hickeys you're sporting -- shame your jammies don't have a T-neck, shit shows up like it's wrapped in neon -- Terezi's having a good time. Did you ask her?"

"Uh... no. I was hoping you'd know about the whole quadrant thing? Like, if it was cheating as far as trolls were concerned?"

"Troll shit, dude. Troll shit is weird. Although I said I wouldn't know weird, so I guess troll shit is no weirder than any other weird. Anyway, if you want to know about quadrants, wait an hour or so. Karkat will be back from whatever he and Jade are doing, and he'll talk your ear off."

John physically flinched back. "No, no, that's just fine --"

Dave grinned evilly. "For my next offer, Rose will talk both of your ears off."

"Oh GOD no."

"That's what I thought." Dave sat up and punched John's arm. "Talking about shit with anybody other than the person you're in shit with doesn't work, it winds up being shit all the way down, just like turtles only shittier. Talk to Terezi, talk to Roxy."

***

ectoBiologist [EB]  began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 14:13

EB: terezi are you there?  
GC: 1T D3P3NDS ON WH3R3 TH3R3 1S   
GC: CURRENTLY 1 AM 3AT1NG 4 D3L1C1OUS CAKE W1TH YOUR H4TCHM4T3   
GC: TH3 ON3 WHO B4K3S   
EB: i have an important question to ask!  
GC: 1 DOUBT 1T BUT TH3R3S 4LW4YS 4 F1RST T1ME  
EB: do you mind   
EB: never mind this is embarrassing.  
GC: 1S TH1S 4BOUT ROXY?   
EB: i didn't say anything about roxy.  
GC: TH3N 1T D3F1N1T3LY 1S 4BOUT ROXY  
GC: 1F YOU W3R3 H3R3 1 WOULD PO1NT 4ND L4UGH 4T YOUR COW4RD1C3  
GC: CONS1D3R 1T DON3  
GC: YOUR H34RT QU4DR4NT 1S NOT MY PROBL3M  
GC: NOW SUCK YOUR HUM4N BULG3 UP 4ND H4NDL3 1T YOURS3LF  
GC: DOUBL3 3NT3NDR3 3NT1R3LY 1NT3NT1ON4L  


gallowsCalibrator [GC] has blocked you!

John sighed. "Not my problem" was the same as "I don't mind", right? But what about Roxy? What was she like? She was from the future, way way in the future, and what did girls expect then? John only knew one other guy from the future, so he flew towards Dirk's workshop. When he got there, Dirk was bent over a microscope, tweezers in one hand, micro-twiddling a very small something.

"Uh, Dirk --"

Without looking up, Dirk said, "Hells of no. Talk to Roxy."

"How did you even know?"

"I have ways. The therapist is OUT. Talk to Roxy."

That left only one guy -- well, one human guy -- to consult. John flew off to Jake's globe. Jake was sitting outside on a blanket cleaning his pistols. John touched down.

"Hi, Jake!"

"Hi, John!" Jake set a pistol down beside him and began disassembling the other.

"Jake, I was wondering, about what you knew, about, um, Roxy?"

Jake looked up. "Old bean, a gentleman never speaks. Not that there would be anything to confabulate around at my particular juncture of the highway, but no, no, won't say a thing."

"Did you date --"

"Not a word, chum. "

John was completely out of options. There was nothing left to do. Egberts were brave! Resourceful! Egberts did not dally! John would fly right over and talk! Egberts could do it!

(days later, although not many)

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 13:14  
EB: roxy can we talk?  
TG: were talkin now dumbass also ofc  
EB: i mean in person.  
EB: at that one tree maybe?  
TG: ur lucky i dont feel like harassing you but thats terezis gig anyway  
EB: please don't.  
TG: no prob   
TG: you mean the tree that looks kinda like the one we first met at   
EB: yes.  
TG: gimme twenty first i need to finish this picture with callie  


tipsyGnostalgic [TG] is idle!

John walked up the hill to the tree. Not really the same tree; that one was on Wind and Shade. But it looked like the same tree, and the same hill, and Roxy thought so too.

Roxy was sitting down under the tree, with her hands and lap full of bright pink flowers. She looked up, saw John, dropped the flowers, and started waving, smiling ear-to-ear.  
"Heya, John, long time no peep! Grab yourself a patch of grass! "

John obeyed. Before he'd even hit the ground, Roxy was in full flow. 

"What size wreath do you wear? Looks like a medium-large, maybe a large. Shoulda checked the size on Jane's hat, I think they're the same hat somehow, I dunno." 

She grabbed a chain of flowers out of her lap, draped it around his ears, and nodded in approval. 

"Nice. Not your color, but deffo a great look. Here, lemme finish it up." 

Roxy took the chain of flowers back, wove the ends into a circle, and plopped it back on his head.

"Ferpect! Suits you."

"Uh, do you do this for all your friends?"

Roxy beamed. "Just the ones who sit still long enough! Which is pretty much Dirk, Jake, Callie, and now you. Join the club!"

John tried to think of some funny banter. He was good at banter. The best. Before he'd gotten anywhere, Roxy was off on another gallop.

"Sorry, John, still gettin' used to talkin' in person. Going from nothing but texting to all of a sudden voices everywhere is just so exciting! You have no idea!"

"I guess I don't. I mean, I talked to Dad all the time." His Dad was dead, though. Jane's Dad was a lot -- a lot a lot -- like him, but Jane's Dad didn't remember John growing up. It was like drinking a strawberry milkshake and finding out it was raspberry. They were both pink, but it wasn't what you were expecting. 

Roxy leaned over and patted his hand. "Sorry, John. You wanna talk to me and I'm filling up the air with talk and not leaving room for you to squeeze in edgeways. Ro-lal will shut up and listen."

Gulp. He usually had so much to say. "Uh, Roxy, I thought ... I mean, I think..." This was embarrassing.

Roxy clapped her hands together. "Ooh, you're sooo cute when you blush, it's the best thing. Totes adorbs." 

John felt his cheeks get even hotter. John hated blushing. A lot. Roxy reached out and patted him -- no, papped him, it was definitely a pap -- on the cheek. 

"Whoops, I said I'd stop, stopping now, lips zippered. What's the sitch?" 

"Uh, Roxy.... um." Now or never. "Um. I'm kinda seeing Terezi although she'd say it wasn't seeing because she's blind but anyway I like you and I like-like you and if I wanted to see you would you think that was cheating?"

"Babes, it ain't the twentieth century here. I dunno what century it is, but defs not twentieth. What would make it cheating?"

"Well, there's Callie. And there's Terezi."

"They're seeing each other? That's so CUTE! Man, Callie should have told me, I'd've asked Jane to bake a cake!"

"No, that's not what I meant at all ... but you mean you wouldn't mind? If it was true? Which it totally isn't? As far as I know?"

Roxy gave him a long, level, entirely serious look. "I used to do the whole jealousy thing. Didn't work out great. I ain't doing it no more. Callie's my adorable cuddle friend. Jake's my ridiculous no-cuddle friend. Terezi's your salty bitey friend. What kind of friend do you want to be?"

"Um... um ... I don't know yet? Definitely not salty. Or bitey, probably."

"Fine. You are one hot dude. Maybe a hot-dude friend? With maybe kisses?"

"I could do that. I mean, not the hot-dude friend because you're a hot girl, but definitely with kisses, oh shit I should shut up now."

Roxy beamed. "I'm hot and you're hot. We can work with that." She leaned forward and kissed him, and John found himself kissing back. It was nice. It was more than nice.


End file.
